Every day, I hear my parents talk about my brother's future. His colleges and stuff. One day, its gonna be my turn. Merely 3 more years. The me right now is so unsure of myself, I don't know what to do, where to go. Time flies. I'm afraid I won't be ready when the time is right. Time waits for no one. And am I no one? In this case, sadly, no. I'm Khoo Tze Yun, a somebody. How I wish I'm no one whom time stops and wait for.

I feel so pressured.The burden of my future is upon my shoulders. Any grown woman I pass by in the street could be me one day. That statement opens up a lot of possibilities and wonders even, but it also opens up a lot of bad stuff; an apocalypse of my life. One wrong move, one wrong decision and its over. I've let the demons rise and ruin my oh so bright future and turn it to one oh so dark. I could turn out to be an icon in Malaysian history, my name would be in history books and future students all over the world would try to memorize my painfully hard name for a history test and go 'Why must she have such a complicated name?'. Or I could turn out to be the battered old lady that begs for money kopitiam after kopitiam that most people will look at with disgust. Two totally different lifestyles and scenerios that could totally happen. And I fear the latter would come true.

The problem is that I have so many options. Its not really a problem. It a advantage of a sort that makes me stress out. When I go to my parents and ask them :'What should I do?' They just tell me :'Whatever interests you, dear.' Even JJ, he always says :'The choice is yours.' When I want some one to just force me to do something, no one does. They give me freedom. Go figure. :S

Motherhood is one thing I'm absolutely positively sure of. But I don't expect to rely on my husband for food, shelter and everything. I'm gonna be a indepedent yet dependent woman. ARGHH. Whatev. I should think less. Thinking just makes people go nails.